1 00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:05,973 "Cheers" is filmed before A live studio audience. 2 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,408 Morning, sammy. 3 00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:10,978 Norm! What brings you in This time of day? 4 00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:12,413 Same thing that Always does. 5 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,782 It's a little early For a beer, isn't it? 6 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,485 So float A cornflake in it. 7 00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:20,621 Beer it is. 8 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,758 Seriously, how come You're here this early? 9 00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:26,260 My supervisor got sick. 10 00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,561 Had to go home early. 11 00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:31,465 So he left me in charge Of the office. 12 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,635 So, uh, I closed it. 13 00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:37,271 Say, you know, 14 00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:38,572 Thought I'd stop by Here, have a few beers, 15 00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,941 And figure out What to do with the day. 16 00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:44,278 After all, I have 24 golden hours 17 00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:45,946 To spend On norm peterson. 18 00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:47,448 Any suggestions? 19 00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:49,450 If it was me, I'd be out there sailing. 20 00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:52,953 Perfect weather, Waters won't be crowded. 21 00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:55,723 I get seasick though. 22 00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,458 I don't know. 23 00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:59,960 Well, you could always go To the driving range 24 00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:02,029 And work on your slice. 25 00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,832 Nah. I don't have My clubs with me. 26 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:09,036 How about checking out That gym you've been Putting off joining? 27 00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:11,839 Not in the mood For sweat, you know? 28 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:15,409 Also you could set up That workshop In your garage. 29 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:19,046 I'd have to clean it All out first. It's a mess. 30 00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,582 Well, norm, you could Sit here all day Shoot down my ideas 31 00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:22,950 And drinking beer. 32 00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:26,154 Wait a minute. Oh, I think we're Onto something here. 33 00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,456 What do you say, Put a head On this thing, 34 00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:31,325 And let's hear Some more of Those suggestions. 35 00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:34,094 Ok, let's see. How about skydiving? 36 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:36,297 Nah. Mess up my hair. 37 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:43,271 * makin' your way In the world today * 38 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:46,274 * takes everything You've got * 39 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:49,009 * takin' a break From all your worries * 40 00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:51,212 * sure would help a lot * 41 00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:55,549 * wouldn't you like To get away? * 42 00:01:58,286 --> 00:02:00,288 * sometimes You wanna go * 43 00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:03,724 * where everybody Knows your name * 44 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:09,297 * and they're always Glad you came * 45 00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:12,500 * you wanna be Where you can see * 46 00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:15,303 * our troubles Are all the same * 47 00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:20,508 * you wanna be where Everybody knows your name * 48 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,110 * you wanna go Where people know * 49 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:25,546 * people are all the same * 50 00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:30,318 * you wanna go where Everybody knows your name * 51 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:55,443 Whoa, whoa, whoa, Whoa, whoa! 52 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,712 Ooh, there's a lovely Young thing, huh? 53 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:01,415 Perhaps I should just Go make my move. 54 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:05,619 Yeah. Go ahead And faint. 55 00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:08,522 All right. Ha ha ha. 56 00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:11,024 Look, some of you people Have got the impression 57 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:14,228 That I'm A little inexperienced In the ways of love. 58 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:17,130 How many women Do I have to conquer 59 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,632 To forever lay to rest This misconception? 60 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:19,800 One. 61 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:22,270 All right, All right, 62 00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:23,604 I wasn't going To do this, 63 00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:26,974 But look what I got In the mail this morning. 64 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,976 Normie, what Does that say? 65 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,944 "Inflatable surprises Catalogue." 66 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,048 Yeah, my mother Sent away for it. 67 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:37,418 She likes to play tricks On the cat. 68 00:03:37,485 --> 00:03:40,421 No, that's the one I was looking for. 69 00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:42,423 Go ahead, What's the name on there? 70 00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:44,425 Lynette cayhill, The orange blossom motel. 71 00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:46,059 Whoa, cliffie, Who's this? 72 00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:49,062 Well, just some damsel Down in florida 73 00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,864 Who I had a doomed, 74 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:53,434 But delightful affair with While visiting. 75 00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:55,436 Poor thing, She just keeps begging me 76 00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:57,438 To come back to her. 77 00:03:57,505 --> 00:04:00,274 Clavin, we're not Falling for any of this. 78 00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:01,642 Why don't you Guys believe 79 00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,277 That cliff had A little affair In florida? 80 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:04,578 I believe him. 81 00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:07,581 I mean, she Could have been Drunk, blind, 82 00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:10,718 Just Out of prison, You know. 83 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,521 Thank you, norm. 84 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,888 Carla, you got A customer over here. 85 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,590 Oh, yeah? Thanks. 86 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,859 Ahh! 87 00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:26,300 Carla? Honey, what is it? Is it the baby? 88 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,935 The baby! Hot water, Sam, boiling water! 89 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,637 What's going on? 90 00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:30,904 What happened? 91 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:35,075 It's--it's her. The evil one. 92 00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:36,477 Where? What? 93 00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:38,045 Over there. Table five. 94 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,750 Oh. The little Old lady? 95 00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:45,519 Drusilla dimeglio. 96 00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:47,220 She was the principal 97 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,524 Of st. Cletes school For wayward girls. 98 00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:51,659 Ooh. 99 00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:55,028 And we all Hated her guts. 100 00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:58,332 She used to do these mean, Spiteful things to us. 101 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:01,535 I swore vengeance on her, But she retired before I could do anything. 102 00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:04,738 Now, 20 years later, There she is! 103 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,441 It's been 20 years, Are you sure it's her? 104 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:10,811 Well, there's one way To make absolutely sure. 105 00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:14,515 She has my teeth mark On her left ankle. 106 00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:16,717 Go check it out, sam. 107 00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:18,318 Ok. All right. 108 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,522 What am I going for? 109 00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:23,524 Well, I can't do it. 110 00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:26,527 She'll recognize me, And then I'll lose her. 111 00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,328 Come on, sam, You got to do this For me, please! 112 00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:31,532 I will, will! But why Don't I just go over And ask her name? 113 00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:33,300 That would arouse Suspicion. 114 00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:35,836 Crawl over there And look at her ankle. 115 00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,405 Oh. Much better. 116 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,606 No, I am not Going anywhere. 117 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,974 Go wait on her Yourself. 118 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,410 All right, I will. 119 00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,011 You all just watch And see what happens 120 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:46,847 When she gets A look at me. 121 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:47,948 Hey... 122 00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:03,363 Oh. What will you have? 123 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:07,601 I'll have gin And grapefruit juice. 124 00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:12,906 Oh, sam! 125 00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:17,210 She doesn't Recognize me! 126 00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:20,213 That means I can take my time 127 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,550 And work out My plan for revenge. 128 00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,585 She did have a mark On her ankle? 129 00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,520 Mark, schmark! It must have healed. 130 00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:29,457 I'm gonna think of something Slow and hideous. 131 00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,391 I have a suggestion, Carla. 132 00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:32,460 What? Do nothing. 133 00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:34,061 With the body? 134 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,063 No! No, I'm telling you 135 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,398 To turn The other cheek. 136 00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:40,000 Oh, sammy, Mooning her isn't enough. 137 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,002 I want to hurt her! 138 00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:49,810 Sam, we haven't had Any heat for hours. 139 00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:51,712 I'm freezing. You're the bartender. 140 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:54,782 What can you recommend For me that's Nice and hot? 141 00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,049 Speaking. 142 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:01,889 Must you inject sex 143 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,357 Into even the simplest Of conversations? 144 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,094 Well, I didn't want you To go completely Without it 145 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,796 While you're in europe. 146 00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,933 I want for nothing In europe. 147 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,703 I'm sure that's What you're getting. 148 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,839 You know what I mean. 149 00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:22,510 In fact, I think I see My schussing hunk 150 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:25,746 Skiing down the mountain Right now. 151 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,481 Yes, that's frasier. 152 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:30,518 He's able to ski right Down to the back door Of our chalet. 153 00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:32,452 Sam, listen, I have to go. 154 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,955 I'll call you Right back, ok? 155 00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:39,126 [applause] 156 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,528 [cheering] 157 00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:43,463 Thank you, Thank you, good People of the alps. 158 00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:45,032 Bravo, bravo! 159 00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:48,969 Thank you. Hey, that's Quite a hill, isn't it? 160 00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,305 Oh, you were magnificent! 161 00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:53,974 Magnificent! 162 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,844 That was exhilarating! 163 00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:00,881 It worries me though. 164 00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:02,550 These risks You're taking. 165 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:03,884 Oh, diane, you know, 166 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,886 Some men Live their lives Avoiding danger. 167 00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:07,921 Frasier w. Crane Seeks it. 168 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,290 Oh, frasier. 169 00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:11,592 Here, let me put these Away for you 170 00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:14,662 So we can both Get off our feet. 171 00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:21,301 Now you just relax 172 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,170 And make yourself Comfortable. 173 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,574 Tonight is your night. 174 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,743 That's the spirit! 175 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,179 The capper was When we glued 176 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,648 Sister scholastica's Feet to the radiator. 177 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:37,718 Who could forget The frying nun? 178 00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:40,788 Oh, god. Those Were the good old days. 179 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,455 Life was simple then. 180 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,924 Yeah. 181 00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,759 By the way, You two started Packing it away at lunch 182 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:48,962 When I said I was paying. 183 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,564 And me and the kid over here Were just trying 184 00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:53,033 To keep up With kathy and Her quadruplets. 185 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,768 Oh, please, Don't even say it. 186 00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:56,403 I've already got Six more than I can handle. 187 00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,271 You have only five kids. 188 00:08:58,338 --> 00:08:59,973 I'm including My husband al, 189 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,176 Who, if he touches Me again, is dead. 190 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:04,978 Four mugs And a pitcher 191 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,881 For me and my pals From st. Cletes. 192 00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:09,650 You know something, I envy all of you. 193 00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:12,653 Sure, I'm the one With the education, 194 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,155 The money, And the great career, 195 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,658 But I'd trade My electrolysis license in 196 00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:19,292 For a family. 197 00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:21,361 Mine's available. 198 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:23,196 By the way, I can get rid of 199 00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:26,066 That little fu manchu You're starting there. 200 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:27,234 Whoa! 201 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,401 [whistles] 202 00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:30,403 The man of my dreams! 203 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:31,805 Mm-mmm! Whoo! 204 00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:33,774 Sorry. Sam, I can't Take them anywhere. 205 00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:35,442 That's all right. 206 00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,978 Four beers For the lynch mob. 207 00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,146 Hey! 208 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:40,614 Oh, I'm sorry. 209 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:43,450 I don't mean to ruin your Wonderful little surprise. There. 210 00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:45,252 Don't go away! [whistles] 211 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:48,956 So, casanova, gotten Any new letters from Your florida conquest? 212 00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:52,960 Well, as a matter of fact, I did receive one today. 213 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:56,263 Each one gets more Heart-rending than the last. 214 00:09:56,329 --> 00:10:00,968 This one, she tells me She'd give it all up Just for my kiss. 215 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,303 She must mean Her lunch. 216 00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,006 All right, wise guy-- 217 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,507 Come on, come on, Let's go shoot Some pool. 218 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:08,842 Yeah, that's a good idea, Normie. 219 00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,477 You guys are just lucky 220 00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:15,282 I used up all My aggressive male hormones With frequent sex. 221 00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,119 Hey! 222 00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:20,487 Hey, roxy! 223 00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,455 All right! Hey! 224 00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:23,757 Ok, carla, We're all here. 225 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,926 Now you can tell us What this is all about. 226 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,829 Well, ladies, I'm really glad You're all sitting down, 227 00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:31,531 Because you're not going To believe this. 228 00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:33,701 I didn't Believe it myself. 229 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:36,704 I found... 230 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,006 Dimeglio. 231 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:44,511 Dimeglio? You mean Our principal From st. Cletes? 232 00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:46,880 Oh, I heard She passed away. 233 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:49,082 Hell wouldn't take her. 234 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:54,221 She comes into this bar Every night at 7:00, 235 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:55,522 Sits at this table, 236 00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:58,025 And has a gin And grapefruit. 237 00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:01,428 And she will be here Again tonight. 238 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,730 So what? 239 00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:05,465 So what? This is our chance To get her, 240 00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:06,734 To pay her back 241 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,636 For all those lousy things She did to us. 242 00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:12,472 Carla, that was 20 years ago. 243 00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:13,874 We were just girls. 244 00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:16,810 But we took an oath That we'd get her. 245 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,378 Don't you remember? 246 00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:21,414 She's coming! All right, everybody Get behind the bar. 247 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:22,716 Carla! Get behind the bar! 248 00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:24,551 Sheesh! Ok! All right. 249 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,754 Don't worry about it. All the old hate's Going to come back 250 00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,021 As soon as you Get a look at her. 251 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,223 Just go ahead, Come on, hurry up. 252 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,558 Hey, ladies-- 253 00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,193 Get down! Come on! 254 00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,097 Uh, hi. 255 00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:38,431 Hello. 256 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,233 Would you mind Taking this table? 257 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:41,735 'cause this one's Taken. 258 00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,436 Oh, sure. Mm-hmm. 259 00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:44,738 So what are you Gonna have? 260 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,439 Oh, I'll have a gin And grapefruit juice. 261 00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:47,808 One gin and grapefruit. 262 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,209 Coming u--ooh! 263 00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,582 He liked your order. 264 00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:57,150 And I'm gonna Get it. 265 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,223 Now what do you think? 266 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:08,996 Carla, That's not her. 267 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,064 She was a lot taller. 268 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:12,632 She wasn't taller. We were shorter. 269 00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,634 I don't Think so, either. 270 00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:17,971 She was two times As big as that. 271 00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,407 So what? So she lost A little weight. 272 00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:22,976 She's wearing contacts Instead of glasses. 273 00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:24,778 That's her. I swear it! 274 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:26,980 It's been a long time, But I don't think It's her either. 275 00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:29,616 What if it is? Who cares? 276 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:32,152 Get down! I care! 277 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,987 All right. If you Don't want to help me, 278 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,823 I'll get her Without you. 279 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,891 Fine. 'cause I don't Want any part-- 280 00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,993 Go ahead, desert me! Just stay down there. 281 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,494 Because I don't want her To see you. 282 00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:42,996 You'll ruin everything. 283 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,165 What are we supposed To do back here Until she leaves? 284 00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,567 Find some way Of amusing yourselves, ok? 285 00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,502 Ok. 286 00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,772 Ooh! No! Jeez! 287 00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:08,688 No, it's been crazy Around here. 288 00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,323 Carla's been moping around All night 289 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:13,393 Because none of her Old school chums will Back her up on this. 290 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,063 And you know carla, She's got so much Bottled-up anger, 291 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,898 I'm afraid She's gonna hurt someone. 292 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,067 And without you here, I'm next in line. 293 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,404 Oh, sam, it would never Come to that. 294 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:27,607 Carla has a means Of dealing with anger 295 00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:29,009 That's very effective. 296 00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:32,012 She vents it constantly In small doses 297 00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:35,415 To prevent a build-up That might erupt In violence. 298 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:38,018 It's a technique That many hot-tempered, 299 00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:39,419 Uneducated people evolve Instinctively. 300 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,621 And though It's rather primitive, 301 00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:44,024 It is nearly as effective 302 00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:46,426 As more sophisticated Techniques cultivated 303 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:49,629 And employed by Better-educated people 304 00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:51,631 With gentler Temperaments-- 305 00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:54,001 Stop that, damn it! 306 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:01,174 Please, darling, Just until I'm finished. 307 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,311 Certainly, Dearest heart. 308 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,848 Thank you, Love of my life. 309 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,653 Sam, I'm sorry. What were we-- 310 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,222 What was I saying? 311 00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:16,924 You don't know, either? 312 00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,461 Well, we got to have A rule around here. 313 00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,762 When you speak, 314 00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:25,665 At least one of us Has got to be listening. 315 00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:28,135 Give my best To frasier. Bye-bye. 316 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,202 Bye. 317 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:33,473 Well, may I proceed With my labor, 318 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:37,144 Or would my precious Like to perform The onerous task 319 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,679 Of getting some heat In this place? 320 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:41,681 No, no. Please finish... 321 00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:43,917 My reason for living. 322 00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:03,303 You spoiled Little conniving... 323 00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,307 Treasure. 324 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,744 Two beers, please, Sammy, 325 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:14,547 One for me and one For my buddy cliff. 326 00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:15,983 You recall cliff, 327 00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:18,351 The fellow Who's in the john Without this. 328 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,786 Ooh. 329 00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:23,056 The latest letter from His florida flame, huh? Mm-hmm. 330 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:26,159 Fell from his pocket While we were Shooting pool. 331 00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,727 What a shame. You know, We should get that back to him 332 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,162 As soon as possible. 333 00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:30,730 And indeed, we will, Sammy, 334 00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:33,533 Just as soon As he gets out here. 335 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,736 In the meantime, I think it's imperative 336 00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:39,372 That we hold the letter Thusly. 337 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,540 Why is that? 338 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:44,177 Because if you Were to hold it The other way, 339 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:47,747 Say, likeso, It's an accident Waiting to happen. 340 00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:49,382 Witness! 341 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,517 Hmm! 342 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,019 You know, I think We got a problem. 343 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:53,520 The trick is gonna be 344 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:56,723 To get that letter Into this envelope 345 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,025 Without reading it. 346 00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,726 Mmm. Well, I'm game. 347 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,729 Yeah? Go on. Give it a shot. 348 00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:06,766 Ah. Oh. No. 349 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:09,236 It no longer fits, sam. 350 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,405 Going to Have to read this. 351 00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:17,010 "Dear mr. Clavin, This the last letter I will send to you. 352 00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:18,511 "If you don't respond, 353 00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:21,714 "I will turn the entire Matter over 354 00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:24,017 "To my attorney. 355 00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:25,518 "I will wait one week 356 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:29,022 "For you to pay for Or return the towels, 357 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:30,523 "Ashtrays, light bulbs, Doorknobs, 358 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:33,026 "And shower curtain Assembly, including rod, 359 00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:34,727 "Missing from your room. 360 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:35,795 Lynette cayhill." 361 00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:38,598 Aw, jeez, The poor guy. 362 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:41,668 I was kind of hoping He wasn't blowing Hot air this time. 363 00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:42,802 Interesting reading? 364 00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,304 Huh? Huh? 365 00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:47,474 Uh...I'm--I'm sorry. 366 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:48,741 I'm more sorry. 367 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:51,311 Hey, guys, Norm has the letter. 368 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:54,314 Hey, steve, larry, Norm has the letter! 369 00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:55,815 All right, Just knock it off. 370 00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:57,817 Normie, is that as Hot as cliff says? 371 00:16:57,884 --> 00:16:59,819 Come on, Let's read it. 372 00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:01,188 Come on. Yeah. 373 00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,056 No, no. "My, uh, 374 00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:05,825 "My dearest cliff... 375 00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:09,028 Well, uh, If you must. 376 00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:13,833 "I want you. 377 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:15,835 "I want you. 378 00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,670 "I want you. 379 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:23,009 "You are burning In my heart like, uh... 380 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:24,777 Like, uh? 381 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,679 I can't Make this out. 382 00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:27,980 Can you, sam? 383 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,682 It's, uh...Volcano. 384 00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:30,850 Volcano. 385 00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:32,652 Volcano. Right. 386 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:36,856 "I think of you at night When I go to bed 387 00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:38,958 "And in the morning When I wake up, 388 00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:43,563 And I dream about you In between when I'm sleeping..." 389 00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:48,868 "Admittedly when Most people dream. 390 00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:51,171 "You're quite a man All right, 391 00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:53,906 "And that's For darn sure. 392 00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:58,211 "And, uh, you Satisfy every hunger 393 00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:01,080 That I have As a woman." 394 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,417 "Respectfully yours..." 395 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:07,887 "Lynette cayhill." 396 00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:09,889 Norm, norm, norm, 397 00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,458 Read them the p.S. There 398 00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:14,661 Where she talks About my sexual prowess 399 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:15,795 In detail. 400 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:18,998 I can't quite make That part out, cliffie. 401 00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:20,467 That's all right. 402 00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,001 I'll help you out there. 403 00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:23,470 This word here Is gargantuan. 404 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:26,038 I think they've all Seen quite enough. 405 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,674 What the heck. 406 00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,008 It was very nice. 407 00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:30,677 Good night, You guys. 408 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,011 God bless you, Guys. 409 00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:33,213 Later. 410 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:37,684 Normie? 411 00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:39,186 Yeah. 412 00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:40,787 I don't know how To thank you For this one. 413 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,490 I'm just sorry I opened it in The first place. 414 00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:46,893 Come on, I'll buy you A burger, huh> 415 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,361 Listen, uh... Sammy, 416 00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:51,130 There's one way you Could make it up To me 417 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,699 If you want. 418 00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:53,500 Yeah? What's that? 419 00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:55,502 Read me The letter again. 420 00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,704 You know, The spicy parts. 421 00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,138 "My dearest cliffie, 422 00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:01,508 I want you. I want you." 423 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,711 [piano plays] 424 00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:20,159 You ok? 425 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:22,161 I just Can't believe 426 00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:23,530 They didn't Recognize her, sammy. 427 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,164 I didn't think anybody 428 00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:27,267 Would ever be able To forget that woman. 429 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,068 You're gonna have to face Facts here, carla. 430 00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:30,403 Nobody recognized her 431 00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:31,904 Because that's Not the woman. 432 00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:33,573 Oh, but, sammy-- 433 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,175 Carla, come on, She didn't have Any scars on her ankles. 434 00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:37,544 Well, that doesn't Mean anything. 435 00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:40,513 A lot of criminals Have their ankles Altered... 436 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,949 So they can wear Bermuda shorts. 437 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,184 You're ranting, You know that? 438 00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:46,553 Really, you're Sounding irrational. 439 00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:49,021 You're beginning To scare me. 440 00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:53,493 I think you ought to take A serious look at yourself Here, carla. 441 00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,763 Yeah, maybe You're right. 442 00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,199 What were You going to do 443 00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:02,101 If it had been her? 444 00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,670 Well... 445 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,473 I had this Storybook fantasy 446 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,542 When I Was a little girl 447 00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:12,111 About someday Coming up behind her 448 00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:14,681 And shaving her head. 449 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:17,284 Well, I'm glad it turned Out to be somebody else 450 00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:18,818 For everybody's sake. 451 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:20,019 I guess. 452 00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:21,454 Oh, boy. 453 00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:23,690 Look at that, Will you? 454 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:24,491 I'm late. 455 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,925 Oh, you've got a date? 456 00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:29,128 Well, I know you don't like To keep them waiting. 457 00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:30,830 Go ahead. I'll clean up. 458 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:31,764 Aw, thank you, Carla. 459 00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:33,933 I thank you, And debbie thanks you. 460 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,136 I think you're going Out with janet tonight, 461 00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:38,505 Bean brain. 462 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:41,708 Oh. Well then, Janet really thanks you. 463 00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:56,723 I wanted her As much as you did. 464 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,728 Oh, good. Someone's here. 465 00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:03,430 It's her. 466 00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:06,198 Can I help you? 467 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,401 I think I dropped My wallet here somewhere. 468 00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:11,738 Oh, let me Find it for you. 469 00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:13,840 Oh, I got it. 470 00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,642 Oh, thank you. 471 00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:16,809 Not so fast. 472 00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:20,012 I have To be absolutely Sure about this, 473 00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:21,013 You know. 474 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:22,382 What's your name? 475 00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:25,084 Drusilla dimeglio. 476 00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:28,521 Drusilla dimeglio. 477 00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:33,326 Oh, thank you. 478 00:21:33,393 --> 00:21:37,564 Do you believe in fate, Drusilla dimeglio? 479 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,567 Well, I...Never Thought about it. 480 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,002 Well, why Don't you sit down, 481 00:21:43,069 --> 00:21:46,172 And we'll have A little talk about it. 482 00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:48,575 I think you'll Find it interesting. 483 00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:51,578 Well, I'm Kind of in a hurry. 484 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:54,514 Ah, one chair, No waiting. 485 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,229 Ha ha ha! 486 00:22:10,296 --> 00:22:12,965 Ha ha ha! 487 00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:14,367 Who's back there? 488 00:22:14,434 --> 00:22:16,803 Hey, sam, Is that you? 489 00:22:16,869 --> 00:22:18,037 Carla? 490 00:22:18,104 --> 00:22:19,338 Hey, what's going on? 491 00:22:19,406 --> 00:22:20,573 I was driving by, Saw the lights still on. 492 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,041 Weren't you Going to close up? 493 00:22:22,108 --> 00:22:24,577 Sam, you're not going To believe this. What? 494 00:22:24,644 --> 00:22:27,246 After you left, I was sitting Here all by myself, 495 00:22:27,313 --> 00:22:29,816 And guess who Should walk in? 496 00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:31,784 Drusie. 497 00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:32,585 Drusie? 498 00:22:32,652 --> 00:22:34,921 Yeah. Drusilla dimeglio. 499 00:22:34,987 --> 00:22:38,257 Carla, bring me Another beer, will you? 500 00:22:38,324 --> 00:22:40,259 Coming up, druse. 501 00:22:40,326 --> 00:22:42,562 She's back there Right now? 502 00:22:42,629 --> 00:22:45,297 Yeah. We've been Playing pool all night. 503 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:46,833 We're tight, sam. 504 00:22:46,899 --> 00:22:49,636 So it is her? 505 00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:51,638 Oh, yeah, it's Her all right, 506 00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:53,272 But you know something, sam, 507 00:22:53,339 --> 00:22:56,443 After I told her How much I hated her, 508 00:22:56,509 --> 00:22:59,111 She explained to me Why she was always So tough on me and everything. 509 00:22:59,178 --> 00:23:00,447 She was just Doing her job, 510 00:23:00,513 --> 00:23:02,482 And maybe I'm A better person for it. 511 00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:04,617 Anyway, we're pals now. 512 00:23:04,684 --> 00:23:07,119 I can't believe this. 513 00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:09,355 I'm so proud of you. 514 00:23:09,422 --> 00:23:11,257 Why, this is A turning point. 515 00:23:11,323 --> 00:23:12,925 Maybe we've Seen the last 516 00:23:12,992 --> 00:23:15,662 Of that tasmanian devil Of a waitress. 517 00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:18,264 Carla, bring Some more pretzels, Too. 518 00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:20,900 All right. Right away. 519 00:23:20,967 --> 00:23:23,670 I can't believe That's the same woman 520 00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:24,904 Whose head You were about to shave. 521 00:23:24,971 --> 00:23:26,639 Yeah, I almost Went through with it, too. 522 00:23:26,706 --> 00:23:27,774 I mean, I came that close, 523 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,777 And I could have Done it easy, sammy. 524 00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:33,880 I mean, She's not as young As she used to be, 525 00:23:33,946 --> 00:23:36,683 But, uh, I stopped. 526 00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:38,885 God was Testing me, sam, 527 00:23:38,951 --> 00:23:41,120 And I passed. 528 00:23:41,187 --> 00:23:42,321 Hello there. 529 00:23:42,388 --> 00:23:44,524 Come on, carla, It's your turn. 530 00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:46,726 Yeah, I'll be Right with you. 531 00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:52,532 I didn't say I got an "A", sammy. 532 00:23:52,599 --> 00:23:55,101 I just said I passed. 533 00:23:56,603 --> 00:23:58,170 Rack them up!